The stress of cycling...

I never imagined that this cycle would be so stressful. With 2 cycles behind me, I thought I've seen the worst. I never had trouble during the stimming phase even though things moved along slowly. After all this, I thought the nervousness and hair-pulling won't start until after the retrieval.

But IVF has thrown me a new kind of worry. Despite everything looking so great before the start of my cycle with the excellent AFC and cyst gone, I seemed to have developed a lead follicle. My old clinic didn't have me go in for monitoring until CD5, but this time, I am being monitored daily from CD4.

CD4
So at my first scan, I had one dominant follicle already at 14mm. (What 14? CD4?) Yup... Weird! The only other measurable follicle was at 10. However, I seem to have lots of little ones, a total of 14 little ones they tell me. My estrogen is at 1182, which means that something is growing... hopefully...

CD5
Lead follicle grew to 15! Ick! Two follicles beside that one: one at 10 and one at 9. The count of smaller follicles grew by 1 to 15. I have no idea of their size. I am starting to freak out. My estrogen is at 2226 today, which the nurse seemed to be happy with. She also reassured me that it does look like some follicles will be popping up soon. I will also be starting the antagonist, Cetrotide, quarter dose, tomorrow morning to prevent ovulation.


Comparing with my previous 2 cycles:
My previous first scans were on CD5. In the first cycle, I had 1 follicle at 9mm and that was it. The second cycle, I had nothing on CD5! Things didn't really start to come in until CD9! So technically, I'm seeing more follicles this cycle than I've ever seen before.

I don't know why I'm so bothered by this dominant follicle crap. I was never worried about the risk of cancelling in the first 2 cycles when things looked worst. Maybe it's just the stress of the cycle being the third one. Maybe I just want this too badly. I'm trying to act like I'd be ok with another cancellation or no transfer... but it's hard. I wish I can just turn off my brain for a week and be like a robot.

More bloodwork and ultrasound for the week to come...!

Here goes again... #3

I can't believe this is all happening again! 

It felt like I have been preparing for this cycle FOREVER. The BCPs took forever to finish, and the week between my last BCP and first injection felt like a whole year. All in all, I am happy that this is finally happening again, but of course I am nervous about what's around the corner.

My baseline report was fair. OFC actually never did a baseline for me so this is the first cycle out of 3 that I am getting this info.

AFC: 13 (10 on right, 3 on left) 

E2: 210

Lining is right where it's suppose to be at this point

I have only gotten my AFC counted once, and that number was 8. Needless to say, I am happy with 13. But I am still scared that this is setting me up for a big disappointment. My E2 level is quite high. At this point, 200 and below would be acceptable and I am just over that line. I was given the go ahead to start, so I guess I will *try* not to freak out too much until my next appointment.

Here's what's going on with me today: second day of injections, topped with bloating and a side of weird twinges here and there. Warning: Emotional stability not guaranteed.