Anxiety and sadness

This is completely not what I thought getting a BFP would feel. I have been nervous the whole way through but today I felt extra emotional. I am not sure why. I feel so disconnected to the world now that I am in-between. I achieved a pregnancy, yes, but I don't feel normal. Sometimes I feel like I am dying to share my news but pull myself back. I know there are women that would give up everything to have a BFP and the possibility of a healthy pregnancy. I am sorry that I feel this way. I feel even disconnected to the IF world now. I feel like I have lost connections with women that I have previously connected to before my BFP. I feel like I betrayed them. Or maybe they just really don't want to talk to me anymore. I want to be happy but I am not. I don't want to worry but I am worrying. I feel so alone and I can't tell anyone. I have pulled myself away from my friends since I have been TTC. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere anymore...